Love and Ballerinas

Since last week was the highly anticipated (or not, if you’re single) V-Day, I thought I would write a steamy little post about love. Ok, maybe not so steamy, but love… since I’m Living in Love in 2008, I’ll give a little update on how that’s going for me.  (And, sidenote, remember in one of my first posts how I was hoping for Mr. Right to show up this year, well, I think he has. More on that later.)

I was talking to my mom the other day on the phone about how excited I am about the motto that I chose for this year.  I just kind of picked it, yes, with good intentions to be more loving, but I never would’ve guessed how pertinent it really would be for me.  My thirst for knowledge and understanding about God and theology and wanting to go to church and desiring to be more loving, not only to other people, but to myself, and most importantly to God, has been the coolest thing, so surprising.  I was explaining to my mom, you know, how since God is love (1 John 4:16), and people have used ‘God’ as a alternative to ‘love’ to better understand who God is (1 Corinthians 13 is a popular example), I feel like my slogan is not only Live in Love, but also Live in God, for which I feel like I’m totally doing right now, living in God, living in his love. 

A couple days later after talking to my mom, I was going through the Bible, looking for a couple verses, and I flipped to 1 John 4:16, you know, to check out the context of the ’God is love’ thing.  I couldn’t believe it when I read the rest of the verse.  Here it is.  “And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.”  It says it right there, “whoever lives in love lives in God.”  I’m not big into signs or whatever, but that’s straight verbatim what I said to my mom just days before.  That was pretty cool.

So it’s a whole new world for me right now.  (Thanks, Aladdin.)  I can’t really explain it, though I think I’m just going through a major refining, searching, growing, just plain exciting season of my faith.  I’m analyzing everything (which isn’t really a new thing for me, but, it’s with a new perspective than before), examining everything (mostly my heart), and I’m seeing my actions, my thoughts, my motivation for things in a completely different light.  I am trying new things, challenging myself (and being open to be challenged by others), I mean, I’m listening to sermons while I drive now instead of constant music.  Who am I?  Seriously. 

What I am so thankful for is my [seemingly] new sense of intention.  I was just looking over my list of about 30+ “goals” for 2008, and I have already accomplished (or am on target to accomplish) over two-thirds of them.  I honestly have to attribute it to this awakening of my heart and mind in the last two months .  I am more in-tune with what is going on, how I am supposed to interact with the world, what certain things mean for my life, if I am supposed to do something about them or not, or how I’m supposed to respond to people or situations, or I ask myself, how should I love that person better, or… you get what I’m saying.  I’m trying to be more intentional and God-honoring in everything I do.  It’s pretty clear in 1 Corinthians 10:31: “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”  It’s just a good reminder for all of us, in pride or despair, we need to remember that there are outcomes that we shouldn’t be taking credit for, and that God is in control.  (For a good chuckle, check out this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2H34lMOAyg. Nothing says ‘God is in control’ like prancing ballerinas.)

And so I’ll leave you with this.  I came across this quote about 6 years ago.  It gave me real hope during a time when I knew (or thought I knew) what was best for me (regarding a guy, of course), but I knew deep down that I had to be patient.  I don’t know where it came from, who originally said or wrote it, but I doodled up a little something something, and I now keep it on my refrigerator as a ongoing reminder of God’s faithfulness and provision. And here it is. ”God always gives the best to those who leave the choice with him.” 

It’s dang hard sometimes to trust that God is good and wants the best for you, and not rely on your own desire to be in control.  And being a Christian isn’t always sunshine and smiles, but I truly believe if we do leave whatever choices we make to God, trust Him, love Him, it will all work out for the good, according to his purpose.  ♥ jb

I’m Awake.

First of all, let me apologize for not posting last week.  I’m sure you were all left completely disappointed to see there was no new riveting update on my life.  I’m sorry.  I was super busy at work… and I had hip hop class: round 2… LOST premiered on Thursday… and I had to wash my hair… and *insert your own lame excuse here*… but really, I had good intentions.  I just didn’t get a good time to sit down and crank it out.  So, here we are.

I’m doing a lot better this week.  For the last week I have just been out of it.  I just haven’t felt like myself.  (Maybe that’s why I didn’t blog last week…hmm)  But, yeah, this week, I’m on the up and up.  Mainly because, as I’ve said before, 2008 has been pretty much awesome.  For one thing, God’s really been working at my heart.  I went to a women’s retreat with my church this past weekend, and God continued to reveal himself to me in an even greater way.  The theme was “Awaken My Heart.” And, based on my personal experience of the weekend, it did just that.  Susie Larson, a nationally-known Christian speaker, gave story after story witness to God’s love and grace, and his desire to know us and have us know him, and it was just really powerful.  I can’t articulate it, but it was just really great. 

There were countless fun times and good conversations with women from church that I’ve always known or seen every Sunday for the last twenty-some years, but haven’t really gotten to know them or had the chance to interact with them in the past, so that was cool too.  It was a gift to learn that women – at all different stages of life – all still struggle with very similar issues: fear, worry, insecurity, doubt… you get the point.  All this to say, I’m really glad my mom encouraged me to go (though she couldn’t convince herself to attend… maybe next year).  For a new inspirational tune, check out Natalie Grant’s, “Awaken.”  It was the theme song for the retreat, and as it may not necessarily be your cup o’ tea music-wise, it’s pretty good stuff.

Ok, that’s all I got for now.  Who knows, maybe I’ll write a special second blog this week, just to make up for last week’s lack of reading enjoyment. Live in Love. ♥ jb