HJNTIY

An excerpt from He’s Just Not That Into You
from Chapter 1: He’s just not that into you if he’s not asking you out

HERE’S WHY THIS ONE IS HARD by Liz

Well, it’s obvious. Are you telling us that we have to just sit around and wait? I don’t know about you, but I find that infuriating. I was brought up to believe that hard work and good planning are the keys to making your dreams come true. I spent my life making things happen for myself. I worked hard for my career, and was quite aggressive about it. I called people, made appointments, asked for favors. I took action. But now Greg is telling us that in this situation, we are supposed to do absolutely nothing. The guys get to pick. We’re just supposed to put on our little dresses and do our hair and bat our eyes and hope they choose us. Why do you just tie my corset too tight so I can faint in front of some man who’ll scoop me out of the way just before the horse-drawn carriage runs over me? That’ll get his attention.

Really, in this day and age, the hardest thing to do for many, particularly me, is nothing. We like to scheme, make phone calls, have a plan. And I’m talking about more than just making sure our hair doesn’t frizz. Most women who date, I would guess, don’t have men throwing themselves at them every night of the week. Sometimes there’s a long stretch during which nobody’s asking us out. So when we see a guy that we feel might be a romantic possibility, it’s even harder for us to take a backseat. That opportunity might not come back again for a long time.

But guess what: My way? Has sucked. Hasn’t worked at all. I’ve never had a successful relationship with a guy that I’ve pursued. I’m sure there are many stories out there to the contrary. But for me, those guys end up getting back together with their ex-girlfriend, needing to take some time for themselves, or going out of town for business. Usually it doesn’t even get that far. They usually just don’t ever return my phone call. And let me tell you, that didn’t make me feel in control of anything.

Since I’ve been implementing Greg’s handy-dandy “he’s just not that into you” philosophy, I’ve been feeling surprisingly more powerful. Because if the men are asking you out, if the men have to get your attention, then you, in fact, are the one in control. There’s no scheming and plotting. And there is something great about knowing that my only job is to be as happy as I can be about my life, and feel as good as I can about myself, and to lead as full and eventful a life as I can, so that it doesn’t ever feel like I’m just waiting around for some guy to ask me out. And most importantly, it’s good for us all to remember that we don’t need to scheme and plot and beg to get someone to ask us out. We’re fantastic.

As I just recently posted at The Jenna Daily, I would recommend this book to any single girl who hasn’t had the best of luck in the dating world (obviously, that’s why you’re still single). It has seriously changed my life. ♥ jb

GTs of Dating

I seem to be having a bit more luck on match.com these days, though it bugs me when I get a notification that someone “winked” or “added me as a favorite” when I have NO INTEREST in that person WHATSOEVER. Sure, way to put yourself out there, I’ll give you that much, but it just surprises me that guys even make any kind of move when, at least according to my profile, I am looking for the exact opposite of who they are. Oh well.

It’s mostly just funny but kind of annoying all at the same time. Like I get my hopes up that I got someone’s attention and they liked what they saw, and then I look… wah-waaaaaah.  Only about 3 times have I ever actually been pleased/hopeful with an interaction on match. The only reason I’m still on that dang site (well, not to mention that they automatically reinstated my membership because I forgot to cancel it in time) is that it just gives me hope that there are still guys out there. They’re not all gonna be a great match for me (obvious), but it’s just encouraging to know that I at least have some options.

The reason for this post today is that someone added me as a favorite, so, per usual I checked out the favorites section and there is this guy. 40 years old. Divorced. Three kids. 5′9″. Lives in Fargo. None of those qualifications even come close to the man I’m looking for. 40 = way out of my age range. Divorced = out of my preference (though I wouldn’t typically write a guy off for this). 3 kids = am I ready to be a mother of three? Most likely not. 5′9″ = it’s a deal breaker, ladies. My man will not be shorter than me. Period. Fargo = too far to go. (but not far enough, at least live somewhere tropical so I can go on a vacation in the winter) :)

Well, as I like to say, dating is awkward, but so is becoming the crazy cat lady.

My new tattoo

Ok, I didn’t really get a tattoo, don’t you all freak out at once. Over the weekend, I had a dream about getting one, and it was hilarious/stressful. First of all, this tattoo parlor resembled more of a hospital or nursing home lobby from like the mid 80s. The decorating was really office-y and it smelled like stale old lady potpourri and the lighting was really dim, like half of the fluorescent bulbs had burned out. The tattoo artists fit the same theme too, they were all older ladies (well, 45-60 year olds), with perfectly coiffed hair as if they had just come from the salon (in the ’50s, perhaps), or maybe they just quit their day jobs as elementary school secretaries.

Anyways, my name is called and I start describing to the woman what I want. I roll up the sleeve on my shirt to reveal my wrist. I take my watch off and point, “here is where I want it, and if you could just put an Ann Taylor Loft coupon there, that would be great. Like a ‘buy one get one 1/2 off’ or ‘20% off one item’ or you know, something like that, that would be perfect. I just really like that store.”

WHAT?!?!
First of all, who gets a coupon tattoo (but how sweet would that be? unlimited coupons?) and of all places I chose Ann Taylor Loft?! Sure, the store is fine, but it’s definitely not my favorite. It’s no Target. Shoo. Secondly, I wish I could show you what the lady’s rough sketch of the tattoo looked like. She drew it in pink pen directly on my wrist, as like a template to where she was gonna actually ink me. It looked like a really bad coupon from Sears or like a hair dye box from the ’60s. I remember my dream-self thinking, wow, this doesn’t hurt half as bad as everyone says it does, and OH MY GOSH — this tattoo lady SUCKS!!!! My coupon tattoo is gonna look horrible!!! (the drama.)

I’m guessing little tattoo lady saw my concern and comforted me with (in the best semi-old lady voice), “oh don’t worry, honey, it’s just an example to make sure you like it before I do the real thing.” Phew. So right away I was like, yeah, umm I HATE this. I want something else. After seeing the awful coupon design, I decided to do something from the Bible like “God is love” or “love never fails,” something having to do with love. I went through about 50+ versions of this (this was the longest portion of my dream) before I settled on something (which now I can’t even remember… or like it matters). But then when I finally got the final draft ready, the tattoo ladies were all busy and mine had suddenly disappeared. Then a voice from behind a curtain (like a small hospital room would have), I hear my friend Lacey yell out to me, “she’s in here!” So I peek my head into the little cordoned-off curtain room and sure enough, there’s little tattoo lady giving Lacey a tattoo instead. The nerve.

After that I don’t remember anything that happened, if the dream came to any conclusion or [probably] not. It was really stressful though, making all those decisions and then having the lady back out on me and give someone else her attention. Hmm. Dreams are funny.

This makes me want to exercise right now.

365 Days of Exercise from Adam Conover on Vimeo.

I like this.

 I don’t know where this came from, but I like it.

Cute Overload

One of the blogs I follow is Cute Overload. I love it. You would have to have a heart of stone (or no sense of humor) to not [at least] smile when you look at those pictures.

Well, last night at B&N I got the 2010 desktop calendar and I cannot WAIT for January 1, 2010, now. I mean, I CAN, but that calendar is seriously going to be the best thing ever. I guess I’m easily entertained.

Eeeeeeeee!

While You Were Out

Tom (my boss and office-mate) is out of the office this week and I’m so so SO tempted to do a “While You Were Out” makeover on our office. He would just DIE.

Of course I wouldn’t have Andrew Dan-Jumbo or Teresa Strasser here to help, but I would have so much fun. It would actually kinda feel like part of MY office too. No more Mickeys, no more kissing couple photograph right by my head, no more unnecessary books on the shelves. It would be clean and functional and much much less cluttered. And I would probably put up some shelves of my own, considering the actual square footage that I am allotted in this office is probably less than five sq. ft. And yes, I would probably play the theme song over and over again. (At least and the beginning and end of every day) :)

I suppose I can just be patient and wait until I actually have MY OWN WHOLE OFFICE, but who knows when that will happen. I’ll tell you this much, I’m not holding my breath — though it will be a joyous celebration when that day comes. My oh my, will it ever be.

p.s. I didn’t just create that photo for this blog post, and don’t ask me why I already had a picture of my face photoshopped onto Teresa Strasser’s body. I think it was something I made soon after college, since we watched that show every day before walking over to the DC for dinner. Good times.

0 for 900

So, as you may know, I’m on match.com. I was once a member of chemistry.com and eharmony.com (of which I am no longer). Well I’ve had 900 different guys view my profile (3,737 overall views) since I joined in mid-January, and how many dates have I been on??  ZERO.  Awesome huh?  A super big boost of confidence, I know.  At least you can’t say I didn’t try. Shoo.

Anyways, all that to say I’m pretty happy to be single right now. I mean, I should say I’m ok with it. Sure, I’d love to meet someone that wants to take me out and make me laugh and treat me well. Until then, I guess I’ll just keep being patient. Date #1 has to come sooner or later, right?

Before and After, Pt 2

I know, I know, enough with the before and afters already… sheesh.  Well, this will be my last one for awhile.  I don’t plan on doing any significant organizing anytime soon (though my bedroom closet could really use it, I’ll spare you).

Here’s the before and after of under my bathroom sink. I did this a couple weeks ago, but am just now getting around to posting the pics. It needed serious help, and I’m pleased with the result. I feel like I better maximized the space and now I can even store TP under there. I know, simple pleasures.

In other news, I just read through my journal last night (it spans from early November to present) and just about every entry but one or two (out of like 50) says something about needing a new crush. It’s still true. SO TRUE. I need a new crush.  And not just a celebrity crush (though those help), an actual real-life, butterflies/sparks/”I really like this person and we have a lot of fun together and he is really cute and I hope that he will ask me out soon and then after a reasonable amount of time dating and getting to know each other he will propose and we will get married and have beautiful babies and grow old in love together” kind of crush. Is that really too much to ask? Really?

One day at a time, right? ♥ jb :)

Life Update

Sad. I didn’t post AT ALL in May?!  What is this world coming to??  Kidding, but seriously. What’s my dealio?  I suppose you could read today’s entry at The Jenna Daily for a hint at maybe why I’ve temporarily abandoned JennaB4 [and after]… It wasn’t intentional, really.  I’ll come up with something good to post here soon.  Promise.

For now I guess I’ll leave you with another quick before and after shot of last weekend’s makeup overhaul. It’s a baby step towards my under-the-bathroom-sink organization goal. Good times.